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~~The Legend of Red XII~~

Location: Contest Board (Board 8)

~~ Chapter 1: Red SCare ~~

It all began on the 5th of March 2004 on Board 8 around the time of the Spring game contest. A user with 0 karma came out of the blue. Their name was Red XII. Nobody knew this "Red" but within a few moments they would. Red appeared genuine in their trolling and showed to have a great understanding of the users on the board. Red admitted to being an alt of a well known user at the top of the post and it soon incited questions of who exactly they were. The actual post insulted the board users as being "nerd-like". Insulted Rpgs and characters with no personality. And worst (or best) of all they picked out individual users and explained why they hate their very existence. The users they attacked included MyWorldisStillSquare,Forsaken,Shake,Slowflake,Amazing Telephone,Mrstillsmokin and IMAP.

The post attracted board vets and newcomers alike. Many appeared hostile towards it yet accepted many points. Unlike today these threads were never seen before and the users were unsure how to respond to it. Most gave it a line or two and decided not to cast a judgement just yet. Red's spelling and Grammar was at the best of times questionable and so was excellent fodder to those who disagreed. IMAP was the first to take this topic seriously and spoke to Red personally. He asked questions about him in a non threating way. He mentioned about Red contacting him on IM, but wether Red availed is Unknown. Some would argue that IMAP knew something about this event beforehand but this has never been confirmed. After IMAP set the way other vetrans such as Sir Chris and Lettuce Kefka responded to the post.

Of course the user being an alternate account was intruiging to many and the oppurtunity to point the finger could not be resisted by some. Tom Bombadil despite appearing to be new to the board proclaimed that this was a SHAKEspeare (A performance directed by the user Shake with many users with casting parts). Shake denied this and quickly countered these by blaming Smurf. Smurf was the type of user whos name was recognized but few knew him that well. It was an odd person to blame so many assumed that Shake must know his facts. BigCow agreed with this and it was decided that Red XII was Smurf.

Back to the topic. After only a mere hour it blasted above 150 posts before finally being deleted by the ever-vigilante moderators. Admist the per-season lull, the board was given something intresting to talk about.

~~ Chapter 2: The Aftermath ~~

The following day saw Smurf returning to the board unaware of that he had established a hate-club. He created a topic in relation to the contest (as you do on board 8). Many users sprung on him ignoring the topic title and trolled him to high heaven. Dignified vetrans such as Lettuce Kefka, Sir Chris and Forsaken were seen to be posting venomous things such as "bastard", "Leave now", "Your mom" "Hall of Shame". This was not seen as a joking matter and Smurf was indeed suprised (or perhaps acted). Smurf did not fire back insults and instead left the board supposedly being upset.

Ironically Red returned to the board soon after and was more then happy to respond to any and all questions. When questioned about being Smurf, Red replied a shameless "Yes". Was he lying? Was it a trick? Was he trying to fool people? Such were the qestions being posed. Red still appeared refined and acted in a trolling manner, at no point acting mean or resorting to name calling.

~~ Chapter 3: Smurf and Shake ~~

Smurf had obviously thought the situation out and returned to point the finger at Shake, backing it up with some convincing evidence. Shake however had the greater popularity and was by far the greater speaker and so Smurf received an instant pwning. A lesson to all who challange Shake. Few people supported Smurf and those who did kept quiet for obvious reasons. Regardless of the truth Smurf was portrayed as a villian. Forsaken described him well in saying "Great, we have a troll worse then Blackscar on our hands." Smurf however didn't lie down and it became increasingly obvious that he had no objections to this drama act. Soon he gathered confidence and culled the weakest member of the Shake gang, MyworldisSquare. MWIS was a popular user but arguements were not his forte. In one unrelated topic he was seen teaming up with Shake unprovoked to attack Smurf. The regular users were not standing for this and on that day MWIS lost a notch of respect and in this reporters opinion he never regained it since. The crowning moment was Shakes infamous "Trial" topic. He put Smurf on trial with him being the judge. Various users were asked to participate. Ironically MWIS was leading the defence. He obviously wished for Smurf to lose and pleaded Guilty. Smurf took a glance at the topic and let on that he would ignore it. Because of this lack of intrest it never was completed which shows that Shake wished only to annoy Smurf.

And then a few days later Red once again returned when things were returning to normal. The next move made by Red made it personal towards Shake. Red made the somewhat odd decision of making a topic framing Shake on the rival board Poll of The Day. He posted a standard question with various letters highlighted so it spelled Shakespeare. Shake acted quite upset at this, so one can only presume that it received quite a bit of attention.

~~ Chapter 4: Just Deserts ~~

Not content with talking point for board 8 Red decided it was time to step it up a gear. For the first time Red was genuinly outsmarted. For quite some time he had built up a friendship with an IM account entitled "torchic". This user claimed to be from POTD and admired Red for his various trolling attempts on Board 8. He claimed to despise board 8 and told Red that POTD would love a board invasion. Torchic claimed to have IM'ed many other POTD users and they told him that they wished for an invasion immediately. Torchic suggested that Red lead this invasion and of course the troll didn't object.

Of course what Red didn't know was that Torchic was a board 8 user taking him for a ride. POTD acted their usual snooty self and Reds invasion topic must have been marked 50+ times. Red was banned and it was presumed his usermap was axed.

The board 8 users checked the various accounts suspected and they were all still working, all except for "Legend of Smurf" which had been banned. It seemed definite that Smurf was behind it and the Red SCare had reached a conclusion.

~~ Chapter 5: Drama overload! ~~

People really hated Smurf now and even his supporters now accepted the scumbag that he was. It became commonplace to refer to a traitor as Smurf "You stole my girl, you damn Smurf!" Smurf took about a week to return with a new account "Smurf Thy Legend" where he met the expected Hatred. Suprisingly he still denied it and thought up many excuses for his banning each more ridiculous then the last. Former friends turned on him and he declared himself being sick and tired of this lifestyle. He wrote a long piece detailing his view of events and announced that he was closing his account and never returning. He tried to play more on peoples sympathy then to show his hatred for users. Shake and the others doubted he would leave but indeed would be pleased if he did. Smurf finished up by saying that he would return to the board under a new non-smurf account and put his account on pending closure.

As if this was a stage production Smurf left the stage and Red entered. The new Red seemed somewhat different. He joked towards Shake and trolled in a BillyJamal style. Despite the personality change Red still used vulgar language and picked up countless karma losses.

And then the site layout changed. Ironically two users never did make it to the new site layout due to being banned. Those were "Red Xil" and "Sir Shake". Was it possible that Smurf and Shake were in this together?

~~ Chapter 6: HatRED ~~

So the spring contest got under way. Smurf re-opened his account and Shake returned with a new one "Solid Shake". Most users settled back into their routine. An obvious hatred between Smurf and Shake existed but it had weakened over time. Red was tought to be gone and was slowly being forgotten when... yup you guessed it Bill Cosby struck again.

Red 12 was in the house and used his infamous"Guess who's back" parody on Eminems Real Slim Shady. Red took a new style and attacked Elitism and sexism on the board. He also made constant trolling attempts towards UltimaterializerX in the contest stats+ Discussion topic. He acted jokingly towards Sir Chris is describing him as "the cult leader" and portrayed Smurf and Shake as being bedroom lovers.

Red was using a different style indeed and had settled nicely into the off season. He made several stories about various users he hated "MyWorldisSquare, Steal This Account, Maplejet, Forsaken and Sir Chris" to name them. Chris and Forsaken ignored these. STA seemed pleased with the attention. MWIS once again showed weakness in that he was unable to counter the abuse Red threw at him. Maplejet was furious at this and urged the mods to dispose of him. The mods listened and Red 12 received a massive amount of Karma losses, was warned and was reduced to -32 karma. Surely that was the end of him?

~~ Chapter 7: Attention Whore'd ~~

In another attempt to stay in the spotlight Red used his alt account Heroic SqualI. Despite this being an obvious impersonation of Heroic Marios alt he somehow got away with it. He claimed to be sick of the whole charade and said that he would admit his identity. He created a topic giving out 10 user names and claiming that every 50 posts the topic gets he would cancel out one. So that if it reached 450 we would find out who red was. The list in full was

Steal This Account
Villanious Magus
Aerith Gainsborough

Of course the board 8'ers (being the type we are) fell for the bait and posted like crazy in it. An intresting thing was that Red spelled both Wylvane and VM wrong so that ruled them out immediately (or was it a trick?). VM described it well in saying that "BEth is more of a recent plague while you red are that anal wart which nobody wishes to shed their dignity to scratch." So the intellegience level ruled out VM and for obvious reasons it ruled out BEth. Even the most dimwitted user knew that maplejet was on the list for sheer comedy reasons and so was ruled out. That left 6 users on the list. Sadly the topic was deleted so we never did find out the outcome. We all had heard of the Smurf/Shake arguements. Aerith and lightlink hadn't been seen for ages so it could only be presumed that they would have announced their presence before now if they were them. Fr0q is a possibilty since he returned to the board not long after Red and has been known to fad a lot of Reds topics. And then theres the odd one out, STA. Still it's very much opinion as to who the Red one is.

~~ Chapter 8: Vipred ~~

Red returned with the ironic username "Red XII Returns". The summer contest was well underway and the n00bs (newcomers) did not know of Red and so ignored him. Red slowly faded away and looked doomed until a 13 year old girl named Viper Vixen entered the scene. As we all know girls on the internet do not exist so VV was an obvious fad account :). Anyway her e-mail went to the ring of

Red copied this using The Yahoo part ensured that it could not be put down to IMPing (Impersonating). The board jumped to the obvious conclusion (OMG VIPRE VIXEN IS RED !!11Shift+1!!). These accusations were lead by popular board user the icon ownz all. Viper proclaimed to being innocent while Red trolled users further to increase the abuse being directed at Viper. For some reason or another most users accepted Viper for not being an alt and Red once again phailed at life.

With the summer contest now over will Red return to his glory day? Or will the mods cop the **** on and ban him for good? Only time will tell.

~~ Chapter 9: Think of the Poke-Children! ~~

In the middle of October after the Summer contest had reached a predictable conclusion there was a fantastic suicide on the Pokemon Board. Ignoring the children a user named F*** You. (They used two I's so with the underscore the second letter looked like a U thus ignoring the censor bypass.)

He did a multi post suicide making a number of censor bypassses and downright unacceptable behaviour. Here is a brief summary of the suicide

- He posted numerous censor bypass words
- He insulted the site owner and his wife.
- He revealed spoilers for various games (OMG without warning!)
- He gave porn,hentai and rom links
- He made reference to Goatsee
- He posted ASCII of naked women
- He posted LUEshi (wouldn't be a suicide without it).

What does this have to do with Red you ask? Well perhaps nothing but this next section of info may have you believe otherwise. He posted in the suicide topic using his alts( which also had insulting usernames). He insulted the users of the Pokemon board by saying they had sheltered lifes. And most intrestingly of all he performed an invasion in the name of board 8. Nobody on board 8 knew anything about this suicide and to this day nobody knows for sure. However the name of the board may hold the clue... Pokemon fireRED

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